How to Create a Self-Soothe Box
How often do you find yourself lost in your thoughts and detaching from a present situation? Perhaps an incident with your work triggers feelings of doubt and disappointment that spiral into anxiety and deeper issues. In some cases, a simple trigger can cause us to freeze and overthink, with negative consequences on our mood and productivity.
In times like this, it is important to take some control, find a way to soothe the mind, ground ourselves in our true reality, and apply self-care. A grounding box is a great mental health tool, and we can all create a personal and effective one.
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What Do You Put in a Self-Soothe Box?
A grounding box is a box of items and treasured possessions that can help us step away from those moments of doubt and stress and return to a better frame of mind. The term grounding box relates to the idea of being able to ground ourselves in a present moment, away from those stresses about past actions or future uncertainties. Others will call it their anti-anxiety box, as the items are all helpful tools for staying calm in moments of crisis or doubt. Others use the term self soothe box. Whatever you choose to call it, this box can be a valuable, personal tool for self-care.
One of the best ways to construct a self-soothing kit is to focus on the senses.
Many people use a popular mindfulness tool that suffers from feelings of anxiety or disconnect from the world around them. All you need to do is stop for a moment and connect with your sense in the present moment. You can find,
~ 1 thing that you can taste
~ 2 things that you can smell
~ 3 things that you can feel
~ 4 things that you can hear
~ 5 things that you can see.
While this is often effective in calming the breath and heart rate and grounding us to a situation’s reality, it is not always that easy. What if there is no obvious taste or scent to cling to at that moment?
That is where a grounding box with physical items and sensory tools can help. Instead of trying to concentrate on hard-to-find stimuli in the room, you can take yourself to this collection and enjoy the act of creating a sensory experience you love. You can do this in a personal way to your preferences and any happy sense memories you might have.
Items in your self-soothing kit for taste.
Taste is difficult to connect within a moment of mindfulness without actively seeking something out. So, why not have something in your grounding box that allows for tastes that make you happy. A little chocolate treat could help, or a small bag of candy from your childhood. There may also be deeper joy in retrieving that “hidden stash” no-one knows about. Another great idea is to keep some herbal tea bags in there, ideally with your favorite mug. You can take a moment to enjoy the tea-making process and then feel the relaxing ingredients’ benefits.
Items in your self-soothe box for smell
The tea-making process also allows for a further sensory experience with the sound of the water boiling and the smell of the herbs as you tear open the sachet. Smell is vital in these grounding boxes. Not only is aromatherapy an easy way to calm the body and mind, but there are also strong links between scent and memory. This means that you can add sprays or scented candles to your grounding box with any scent that helps. It does not have to be a typical choice like lavender. Perhaps you prefer the comforting scents of pumpkin spice or sugar cookies.
Items in your self-soothe box for hearing
Again, a scented candle offers a wider sensory experience. You can take the time to set it up on your table, light the match, and then watch the flames and listen to the wick burn. Wood wick candles are perfect for this. Think about other items that make noises that you enjoy. Do you have a music box or talking soft toy from childhood? You can also keep a nice comfortable pair of headphones in here as an encouragement to go and listen to a favorite artist or maybe some autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR). ASMR is a soothing, satisfying feeling usually experienced as a tingling sensation derived from what you can hear.
Items in Your Self-Soothe Box for Touch
Those soft toys are also great for triggering relaxation and anxiety relief through touch. The soft textures and squishy feel do not just feel good in the hand, but it can also transport us back to childhood and those feelings of security. Alternatively, if you are the sort of person who likes to keep their hands busy, perhaps stopping from biting your nails – a few fidget toys may help. You can get bundles of these little things with different functions and textures. Focusing on one of these for 5 minutes could help take your mind off of things. Another great item for touch is hand lotion. It feels good on the skin, and you get the benefit of a hand massage and a nice scent.
Items in Your Self-Soothe Box for Sight
On the subject of hand lotion and manicures, you can also keep a bottle of nail polish in the box. The repetitive act of adding color to your nails is a fun meditative tool that can help a lot. Alternatively, if you would rather add color to paper, you can have a coloring book and pencils to help you enjoy a different task for a short break. Photos and mementos also help, as you will see later when talking about links to the past, present, and future.
Visual stimulation is important in the contents and design of the self-soothing kit
The importance of visual stimulation also means that it helps to consider the look of any item in this box and the box itself. For example, if there are colors immediately calming to you, try and focus on items with those colors. You can do this with the pencil case for those colored pencils, the mug for your tea, the color of the candle, and more.
You can also take this further with the color of the box. The box you use may be nothing more than an old shoe-box. Nevertheless, you can still paint it, cover it in the paper, or decorate however you see fit. The creation of the box is a mindful, anxiety-relieving act in itself.
Grounding yourself with a self-soothe box means appreciating your place concerning the past, present, and future.
One of the reasons that we get so caught up in our thoughts and anxieties is that we fail to appreciate where we are at the moment in time. It is easy for other people to say to live in the moment and only focus on the present. However, this becomes difficult when we are caught up with fears and doubts—relating to the future or regrets and past questions.
A good self-soothing kit will help you to connect with your place in the present through mindfulness. You can also emphasize your current position on a journey with positive items relating to the past and future. We can look at positive past experiences and see how they brought us to this moment and influence our choices today. We can also have hope for the future and consider our dreams, tying those thoughts in with our past lessons and the current status of our bigger journey.
Items in your self-soothing kit that help you gain perspective on the past
There is no need to ignore the past in order to focus on the present. A healthy appreciation of past events and struggles can provide a much-needed perspective on our current situation. Also, reminders of happier times can help us remember that we can find joy, even in dark times, and similar events and opportunities may arise again. Add some photos to your grounding box of fun trips, holidays, or childhood memories. Remind yourself how far you have come and of the positive steps taken.
Items in your self-soothe box that help you look forward to the future
At the same time, there is no need to ignore the future, as this could limit your thoughts and stifle progress. It is OK to work towards a dream or a big goal in life, even if there are obstacles and doubts on the way. Put some reminders in your grounding box of that dream future situation. If there is somewhere you plan to visit, add some pictures of it. If you plan to see your favorite band in concert again someday, add the ticket stub from the last event—little items like this show what can be possible because you managed them before.
Many people that make these self-soothe boxes also like to add cards with positive affirmations and motivational quotes to bring in another voice to reinforce these messages. You could also write a letter to your future self and re-read it as needed to remember your strengths and purpose.
Make your self-soothe box as personal, beautiful, and nostalgic as it needs to be
There is no right or wrong answer in what to add to a grounding box as long as the items effectively provide a sense of calm, joy, hope, or all of the above. No-one else needs to see it, so have fun adding whatever you want and building something effective to aid your mental health.
If you find that a self soothe box is only helpful up to a point and you need help with addressing the core problems, please get in touch for a free 20-30 minutes initial person centred consultation.
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